When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
