He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
