Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
