just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
