He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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