mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
