we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
