Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
