So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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