She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
