I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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