Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
