How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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