I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
