I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
