Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
