Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
