so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
