She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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