Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
