I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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