...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
