words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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