i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
