i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I could fuck to npr.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
