I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
