I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
