This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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