So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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