Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
