I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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