Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You need a sexual gate keeper
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
