My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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