I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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