I'm going to jail i love you
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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