is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize