is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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