Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
