Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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