Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
