Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
