my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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