honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
