I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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