Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
