ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
These tits shall not be calmed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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