just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
