We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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