My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
