No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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